I never knew anything about love.
You see, I grew up as a very serious person who prioritizes her education the most.
I never had any close friends since I'm a loner and I always talk about school.
So...when asked about my understanding of love, my answer is based on what I've learned from reference books, dictionaries, and the internet.
LOVE is any of a number of emotions and experiences related to a sense of strong affection and attachment. It is an extremely powerful emotion; it can be irresistible and people are often bound to pursue their love interests.
That's how I define it. But people often told me that there's a deeper meaning in love. You would only understand once you experience it.
For someone like me, who knew that love would come my way?
Yes, for once, I experienced that feeling. The feeling of strong affection and attachment to someone.
It all happened unexpectedly.
Let me go back 2 years ago to the time where it all started.
My first love...
********************
"Okay class, to end our lesson, who can give a clearer definition of vectors?"
Without any hesitation, I quickly raised my hand to answer the question.
"Yes, Ms. Jang Ri In?"
I cleared out my throat as I stood up to answer.
"They are disease-transmitting organisms such as a mosquito or tick that transmits disease-causing microorganisms from an infected person or animal to another,"
"Nice, I think it is clear to all of you now since Riin gave out a clearer and simpler definition. Class dismissed," our teacher said as she picked up her books and walked out of the classroom.
I placed all of my books in my backpack then I stood up to leave.
As I was walking towards the door, I heard some students whispering.
"Tch, don't you think that Riin is such a teacher's pet? She's always the best in the eyes of the teachers,"
"Yeah, that's why she doesn't have any friends here. She's all about school, school, and school. Such a boring person,"
"You're right. I would never hang out with someone like her,"
I just closed my eyes and sighed upon hearing those comments. I'm used to it, anyway. Everyday, I would hear my classmates talk about me and all they could utter is nothing but negative feedbacks.
I continued to walk out of the classroom and made my way to the cafeteria to eat lunch.
I sat at a table at the corner of the cafeteria and was about to have a peaceful lunch, when all of a sudden...
"Riin-sshi! Hello! Good afternoon!"
I quickly placed back my sandwich at the plate upon seeing the image of the guy whom I despised the most.
He's Kim Junsu. A normal guy who keeps bothering me every now and then. Very annoying indeed.
"Sigh...what is it this time?"
He sat at the chair in front of me and smiled gleefully as usual. "Can I eat with you?"
"Well n---"
"Thanks a lot!" he said as he took out his lunchbox without even letting me refuse.
"Whatever, just let me eat peacefully," I commanded as I picked up my sandwich again and took a bite.
"Sure! Happy eating!" he said while taking a spoonful of rice.
It was a good thing that he didn't talk during our meal unlike any other days wherein he keeps on blabbering with his mouth full.
After I finished eating, I drank my juice and wiped my face with a tissue.
I noticed that Junsu was staring at me while his mouth was open and his eyes were sparkling.
"What?" I asked.
He suddenly smiled at me sweetly. "Nothing. It's just that...you really look like an angel. Every move you make is very graceful,"
I just stood up and picked up my things. "Stop it with that nonsense. Who are you fooling? I'm no angel,"
He immediately closed his lunchbox and stood up to follow me. "But you are! Believe me!"
I tried avoiding his gaze. "That is just too hard to believe. And will you please quit following me? It's really annoying,"
"Aww...why? I just want to keep you some company,"
I sighed. "Look, thanks for the concern, but who told you that I needed company? I'm okay with being alone,"
"But being alone is...well, it's lonely. Don't you feel sad?"
Sigh...that guy is really childish. He doesn't get my own perspective.
"You know, I'm totally contented with my way of living. You don't need to bother yourself with me anymore,"
"But I'm happy doing this! I want to keep you company and be your friend!" he said happily.
"Just like what I said, I don't need any company," I said nonchalantly as I walked faster ahead of him.
He ran in order to catch up to me. "But it's hard for me to leave you alone,"
I just rolled my eyes. "You're just making it hard, but it's really easy. Now leave me alone. I have to go to the library,"
After saying that, Junsu stopped walking and looked sadly at the ground.
The day finally ended. I went home right after school and went straight to my room to study and make my homework.
Somebody suddenly knocked at the door.
"Riin, can I come in?"
Recognizing the voice of my mom, I stood up and opened the door.
"Hey, I brought some snacks. What are you doing?" mom asked as she entered the room and placed a tray at my desk.
I sat back at the chair in front of my desk and continued reading some of my books. "Studying and making homework,"
Mom sighed as she sat down at my bed. "Riin, I'm happy and proud that you turned out to be a very smart child, but life is not all about education you know. There's a world out there that needs to be explored,"
I stopped reading and looked at mom. "Tsk, Junsu called you again, am I right?"
Mom fidgeted. "Umm...well.... Riin, why are you treating him like that? He's a good guy,"
"Mom,"
"You should be happy that there's a guy out there who wants to keep you company. Who knows, this might never happen again,"
"Ugh...this is pointless," I stated as I went back to reading.
"Riin, he's a very dedicated guy. He's been following you eversince he transferred here to Seoul last year. But you always treat him coldly. Nowadays, he keeps calling, telling me, 'Auntie, Riin-sshi was mean to me this morning. What should I do?' Such a poor guy,"
"He's being childish as always. Don't mind him mom. He'll get tired of it soon," I remarked.
"Don't say that. He obviously likes you," mom said as she nudged me.
"Like? Me? What would a guy like about me?"
"Oh come one. He clearly saw something in you that other guys won't be able to see. Grab this opportunity and go for it!"
"Go for what?"
Mom rolled her eyes. "Sigh...for heaven's sake Riin! Experience some love once in a while!"
"Tch...I don't even know what that is,"
Mom gasped. "But it's the strongest feeling in the world! Every person in this world would be able to feel it! It's something that you won't be able to avoid, no matter how hard you try,"
"What makes you so sure about that? Is there any proof that it's really like that? Do scientists approve of that theory?" I questioned.
My mom gave me a confused look. "What theory are you talking about? I'm talking about reality here! Look Riin, sooner or later, you'll understand what I mean,"
After that, my mom went out of the room and left me thinking about the real meaning of love.
"Is it really like that?" I asked myself as I looked at my dictionary, thesaurus, encyclopedia, and almanac to look for the definition of love.
"I still don't get it. But why? Something as simple as this should be easy to understand for someone like me. Why does it seem so complicated?"
I really got curious. If I want to know the real meaning of this word, I should have an experience.
I decided to try it out. I'll try to fall in-love.
Home 
